My dad’s come home
And it’s time to play,
He’s asking me questions
All about my day,
He sings me a song,
His voice off key,
But dad’s off key singing
Doesn’t bother me,
Then he takes out a needle
Some powder and a spoon,
Ties his belt around his arm
and I know that soon,
The light in dad’s eye will die,
I sing us both a lullaby.
And I watch him tie off
As I hold his hand,
Fight back tears
And try to understand,
Search for clues but I just can’t see,
Why needles are more fun then me.
Why needles re more fun then me.
Dad’s throwing a party
Cuz I just turned seven,
He’s performing magic tricks,
All the kids are in heaven,
The jack of spades
Turns into three roses,
My pet rabbit disapears
Right under our noses,
Then the cake arrives
With a magic spoon,
I make my wish,
Pray to god that soon,
Dad won’t be all sweaty and sick,
Or acting like a lunatic,
I watch him tie off
As I hold his hand,
Fight back tears and try to understand,
Search for clues but I just can’t see
Why needles are more fun than me.
Why needles are more fun then me
Met a cool boy
Coming home on the bus,
With a gorgeous smile,
Real mischievious,
We talked about life
For what seemed like forever,
He was studying art,
He sketched us both together.
Then he took out a needle
And a dirty spoon,
Said “want to try this?”
I said “no,” but soon
He’d persuaded me anyway,
God I learned so much that day!
My dad’s come home
He’s just gone straight,
He’s says “hey kid,
Can I take you on a date?
Dinner and a movie?
Or shall we see a play?”
I say “that sounds great
But can we do another day?
I’m not feeling very well
And it’s after six,
Guess it’s time
For my fix,
Dad can you help me tie off?
Can you hold my hand?
It took so long
For me to understand,
I searched for clues,
And now I see,
Why needles are more fun then me
Why needles are more fun then me.
Why needles are more fun then me.
CAUTIONARY CLOUD
Hey Dad suprise!
I know that it’s been years ,
But maybe you caught me on the silver screen?
I thought of you
When the director asked for tears.
Remembered the last time that we spoke,
The day before I turned fifteen,
You were trying to apologize,
You’d just gone straight,
But I had problems too,
Said you were too late.
I went in for the choke,
Wouldn’t compromize,
Was running from my fears,
God Daddy it’s been years,
Have you thought of me too?
So many times
I yearned to call,
Forced myself to wait
Till I was walking tall,
I’m an actress now,
Went straight to the top,
Knew I would somehow,
I’m the creme of the crop,
Your kid’s no longer floating
On a cautionary cloud,
Dad say it’s not too late
For me to make you proud
Wow Dad surprise!
Oh no I understand,
Your new family all look so pristine,
Guess this won’t go
The direction I had planned,
Dad I swear I didnt ’t know,
Let me call my limousine.
I just wanted to apologize,
Do you need some cash?
Have things been kind of slow,
A place a bit more flash?
Can I take you to a show?
Your girl is on the rise,
Do you have a favorite band?
No.? can I shake you my hand?
Didn’t mean to cause you woe
So many times
I yearned to call,
Forced myself to wait
Till I was walking tall,
I am a huge star now,
Wentt straight to the top,
Knew I would somehow,
I’m the creme of the crop,
Your kid’s no longer floating
On a cautionary cloud,
But I guess that it’s too late
For this kid to make you proud.
Although the room is freezing
You are sweating up a storm,
Your wearing striped pajamas
Three sizes smaller than your norm,
There's a party at some loft
To bring in the New Year,
But if I leave who'll guarantee
That tomorrow you'll be here?
You used to be surrounded,
But now everyone has disapeared,
I spill a a cup of coffee,
You don't rage and that feels weird,
I make a joke but it's not met
With your rougeish grin,
Psorosis of the liver,
Is a fight that you can't win.
And you softly speak of memories,
Times I know did not exist,
Father, daughter memories,
A beguiling, phony list,
And I want to scream and yell at you,
But resentment doesn't last,
With no future left ahead of you,
What's wrong with reinvention of the past?
What's wrong with dazzling tales
Of us together in my youth,
When your father’s liver fails,
Imagination triumphs over truth.
Your skin is gray and pasty,
And your eyes have lost their gleam,
You can't even hit the bathroom
Without ringing for the nurses’ team,
But the morphine keep you mellow
Keeps you in a hazy dream,
Where dad and kid are swimming
In a dazzling, tuorquise stream.
I roll a wicked joint
To join you on delusion’s train,
I blot out concrete truths,
Blot out their perditious stain,
Your dying from addiction,
Cocktails made of smack/cocaine,
Medication mixed with fiction
Sure works to kill the pain.
And I'm not sure why the memories
Never did exist,
Forgotton why you ran away,
Why Mum did not resist,
Drugs and feigned amnesia,
Are not the way for all,
But they make life so much easier
When one's about to fall.
What's wrong with dazzling tales
Of us together in my youth?
When your father’s liver fails,
Imagination triumphs over truth.
